I've been exploring step 4 of how to enable your clients to master change—by redefining their problems to help them move forward. Always reframe. Change the meaning.
Here's another objection you can reframe: cost. "Well, I didn't think it would cost this much."
Once again, compared to what? Let's get a reference point.
When people say, "I didn't think it would cost this much," what do we do? "Well, you have this problem, you have this problem." No. If you do that, you're selling. We don't sell. We coach.
Say instead, "Compared to what?"
"Well, compared to my last chiropractor."
Then say, "Well, and what did you pay there?"
"It cost $30 every time I went in."
Then you respond, "So you had six adjustments and then you're out of pain. You already know that you had short-term goals. And where did that get you? You knew it wasn't going to cost very much. What you're really saying is you didn't expect your problem to be that bad because no other doctor took responsibility. Or that...
Now that you have interrupted people's patterns of denial, you can help them redefine their problem to enable them to move forward. This is step 4 in the 7 Steps Toward Enabling Clients to Master Change. To refresh your memory: the first step is understand people's world (speak their language), the second step is create a base from which they can accept responsibility, and the third step is to interrupt that pattern of denial of what's been going on and what's good for them.
Now that we have understood a patient's world and emotional beliefs and have had them take responsibility and awaken to reality through a pattern interruption, we reframe what's going on for them. We're helping them see a situation from a new perspective.
Here's where we determine what they're focused on. We listen to their language pattern. We determine the meaning. We ask them a question, redefine the problem that changes the meaning and we get their agreement on the new meaning. As a result, they change....
In my last post, in speaking about step 3 of helping your clients master change through pattern interruption, I gave a few examples of how important it is to change people's perspective and provoke them into breakthroughs.
A pattern interruption means you're forcing the person to face something intense.
Here's another instance: "We don't want our kids to get checked because they're scared."
"Okay, if you said that, what would you be scared of?"
"Well, that it would hurt them."
What I'd say is, "Are you scared that they might get hurt? Or are you scared of a minor adjustment? Or are you more scared that the foundation of their life and their health isn't developing right? Are you scared that they are actually getting weaker as they get older? What are you more scared of? Are you scared of a minor adjustment that's delivered to millions of kids every day? Are you scared that the real foundation of health in their body isn't developing right that could affect their health the rest of...
In my last post, in speaking about helping your clients master change through pattern interruption (step 3 of the 7 Steps to Enable Your Clients to Master Change that I talk about in this series of blogs), I showed how important it is to change people's perspective and provoke them into breakthroughs.
Here, I'll give you a few examples of how this has worked.
Let's start with a patient who's been on an emotional freight train.
She says, "I've been to every doctor. Nothing works." She plays the victim. You know this person. The more they talk about everything they've done, they more they build momentum. You've got to knock that freight train off.
In such situations, with such a patient, I say, "So, what you're telling me is you've done everything that doesn't work. You've explored everything that doesn't work."
All of a sudden, she agrees with me. "Yes. That's right."
I say, "You're here because you have hope, and this person told you that it's different. They help people that've...
In my last post, I spoke about Step 3 of Helping Your Clients to Master Change: pattern interruption. I'm continuing that discussion here. You want to change their perspective. You want to provoke people into a breakthrough where they suddenly realize that what they've been doing isn't getting them what they really want.
That has to happen in a moment with one question or one statement. If you don't do it, they could take responsibility, but if you don't interrupt the pattern, then you can't redefine it. You can bring people into a state of confusion when you interrupt the pattern. A state of confusion or more awareness is better than continuing to move along the same tracks. We've got to transition their thought, and that's how we do it.
When Tony Robbins does this, he often uses profanity. He does it with tone. He does it with very direct questions, but just about every time he does something very aggressive, people cooperate. Because they trust him. They know he's there. Then...
Now that you understand the patient's world, now that you've aligned with the patient, now that the patient has taken responsibility, and now that you've built a rapport with the patient, you need to shake the patient out of old ways of thinking. This is Step 3 in the 7 Steps Toward Helping Clients Master Change. To refresh your memory: the first step is understand people's world (speak their language) while the second is to create a base from which they can accept responsibility.
By this point, after you've worked with the first two steps with your patients, if you've built rapport and they trust you, then you can use pattern interruption to break that cycle of victimhood and self-denial. This third is creating a pattern interruption: shake them out of their old habits and old ways of thinking.
Generally, such a pattern interruption hits them with a boom. It's as if you were driving along and, on coming to an intersection, you suddenly snap out of it and say to yourself, "How did I...
As I've expanded in the last several blog posts on the second step of mastering and enabling change in your clients—building a base for them to accept responsibility—I've provided examples of patients who resist change by sticking to old ways of thinking.
Here are other examples: "I don't believe in chiropractors," or, "my kids are too young."
I'd respond, "Really? That's really interesting, because you just learned in the workshop that from the time children are born, the first year of life is when their spine develops. And as they grow, how many times a day do you think your kid falls? A hundred? When they're that young that's when they probably have the most trauma that they ever will have—all while their spine is growing and developing. I'm pretty sure that as a parent, you feel you want to give your child every opportunity to have a strong, healthy life. Would you agree? Isn't that your first and biggest concern, as a parent?"
They would say, "Yes."
In my last few posts, I've been exploring establishing a base where people can accept responsibility. This is step 2 of the 7 Steps to Enabling Your Clients to Master Change. I've been providing examples of patients who resist change by sticking to old ways of thinking. Here I'll show you a few other ways in which you can move a patient move beyond their objections so that they accept responsibility for their health, which will bring them closer to working with you.
Here are a few examples:
"Well, I want to wait to get my spouse in," a patient might say.
"Why is that?"
"Well, I'm worried about the cost."
I validate them. "I completely understand, because you thought you had back pain, and you found out the whole foundation of life and health in your body is your spine and your health is breaking down, right?"
Or, following a workshop, a patient might say, "I want to wait for my spouse."
I'd say, "Okay, if you want to wait, that must mean you know they have a problem." I'd turn to...
In my last post, I expanded on the second step of the 7 Steps to Enabling Your Clients to Master Change. You saw how I worked with the sort of patient who refuses to see what's before him, or to accept the responsibility for what's going on by saying, "You're the doctor."
Here's another example: someone who says he's been to other chiropractors and wants to use those sorts of objections to avoid working with you.
"I've been to other chiropractors and it hasn't worked," this patient says.
Again, that's the patient not taking responsibility. Even if they've been responsible for going to other chiropractors, they still consider themselves to be a victim. A conditional victim. A conditional victims means that someone feels that even though he's empowered, he can't move past something in his past.
"Well, I've been to other chiropractors. It hasn't worked."
"Great. Well, did they take X-rays?"
If they say no, then I say, "How did they know what they were fixing?"
"Well, he would...
In my last post, I began expanding on the second step of the 7 Steps to Enabling Your Clients to Master Change. (The first step was to understand someone, to speak that person's language.)
In my last post, you saw how I worked with a patient who was a bricklayer, when I used responsibility questions that can completely change someone's perspective. Here's another example: the patient who responds to everything you say by saying to you, "You're the doctor."
When a patient simply says that he himself knows nothing, and, "You're the doctor," this is another negation of personal responsibility.
For example, if I show a patient the normal curve of the neck and spine, and then show the patient his X-ray, which indicates something wrong, I would ask, "What do you see?"
"I don't know," this patient says. "You're the doctor."
That's a no-responsibility statement. How can you create leverage? You can't. With this answer, your patient is not going to move or take empowered action. So you work...