In my last post, in speaking about helping your clients master change through pattern interruption (step 3 of the 7 Steps to Enable Your Clients to Master Change that I talk about in this series of blogs), I showed how important it is to change people's perspective and provoke them into breakthroughs.
Here, I'll give you a few examples of how this has worked.
Let's start with a patient who's been on an emotional freight train.
She says, "I've been to every doctor. Nothing works." She plays the victim. You know this person. The more they talk about everything they've done, they more they build momentum. You've got to knock that freight train off.
In such situations, with such a patient, I say, "So, what you're telling me is you've done everything that doesn't work. You've explored everything that doesn't work."
All of a sudden, she agrees with me. "Yes. That's right."
I say, "You're here because you have hope, and this person told you that it's different. They help people that've been everywhere where it doesn't work. What you're saying is that's why you're here." I'm reframing what she's said.
But let's interrupt the pattern. I say then, "What you're saying is you've done everything that doesn't work, so you're not going to do any of that anymore." You've got to eliminate it. You've got to stop a person from going back because what happens is that person will get stuck there. You don't want the patient to think, "You're just another person who isn't going to help me." If they've already made that decision, you cannot convince them with information. It doesn't work.
Interrupt that pattern of energy. Don't even let them continue. If you let them build momentum because you think you're being nice, you're actually hurting them because the more they say it, the more they're anchoring it in their body that they're right. Watch their body language. When they feel it in their body, they believe it.
It's not rude to interrupt them. In fact, you have to interrupt them. Tell them, "What you're really saying is you've told me everything that doesn't work." I'd match their tone, even raise my tone and be a little more forceful. "You're tired of all that and you want one thing. You want one thing that will work, not 25 things that didn't work." That's a pattern interruption, and it's a reframe. Interrupt them right there.
Then you'll hear the transition into awareness: "Yeah, I guess you're right." That's the pattern interrupt. But you must see it in how they hold themselves, and how they respond. Otherwise you didn't interrupt the pattern.
Here's another example. In looking at a patient's X-ray, the patient might say, "Well, that's not that big a deal. It's not as bad as I thought." How often do you hear that?
I would say then, "Well, I guess that's okay compared to what you've seen before. Because I myself have seen X-rays in there where it looks like their surgeon went to Home Depot for a bunch of screws and bolts and put those in their spine. Compared to them, heck no, you're not that bad. You don't look like Ace Hardware is in your back."
Or you can say, "I've seen people whose spines are riddled with cancer. You don't look like your spine got blasted with a shotgun of cancer. No, you're not that bad."
Here's the reframe: "If you compared your spine to someone with a strong, healthy body, what would that comparison be like?"
Here's the pattern interruption: "No, you don't look like Ace Hardware." Or, "You don't look like your spine got blasted with a shotgun with buckshot of cancer."
You might be saying, "That's too aggressive." But you're responding to someone who's seen a serious X-ray who's told you that it's not bad. What are you going to do? Are you going to explain why this is? You won't get a breakthrough with your patient that way. You need a pattern interruption. That's what the top influencers in the world do to create breakthroughs. Are you attached to a breakthrough? Does that subluxated person deserve to live an un-subluxated life? Then learn to deal with them emotionally.
In my next post, I continue to explore pattern interruptions, with more examples of resistance among patients, and how you provoke them to change and accept responsibility or see things from a new perspective.
I'd love to hear how you've dealt with people who have been reluctant to engage with you. How have you interrupted this pattern of denial? What were your experiences?
Thank you for sharing.